We’re Living In A World Of Traps And Lies

Why are we so conscious of what other people think through being conscious of what we think, since when did these two distinct properties submerge into one breaking an untangle seal that was once as solid as brick. But now the brick has cracks within it, it’s now drowning in water, the water is seeping into its mighty frame softening its strong roots turning the solid structure into a lump of mush.

Since when were we okay to let our lives transform into this erupted sand volcano and leave us with an empty heap of slush. Take it back is what I say, Take back our actions our words and recreate them into a new sound something more lyrical something more flamboyant, something we can shout out loud and be proud of the recall and when that tune flutters back to you in a some what better form be happy that you’ve made your imprint on the world. And remember every aspect of your self is a good one

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Light of My Life Fire of My Loins

Today, 30th of March, I purchased a MacBook!!

My intentions behind this action were very rational backed up by great justification. first being exams. I have my AS Philosophy exam on the 16th of May, followed ever so shortly by ​real A Level subjects. this links in nicely with my second point of reasoning, THE COLLEGE COMPUTERS ARE ALWAYS OCCUPIED. Not to scrutinise my college for being highly impractical at supplying the whole college of around 2000+ students with a library of about 40 and a “computer drop in” of around 50 most may I add are possesed by first years munching on crisps whilst binge watching excesses amounts of pointless Netflix series. So this new change will be a very pleasant addition to my college life let alone for me since my old laptop (a Toshiba) weighed a ton and was far too big to manage. I cant even say it functioned well as late 2016 the touch pad broke and so I had to use a plug in mouse, which again, made using the laptop a triumph.

my parents were very much awear of my situation before buying the laptop but it was my reasoning to say that when my birthday comes around, in June, I won’t NEED a laptop like I do now. As in June my exams will be over and my hedonistic head will be nicely in place to make the worst life decisions ever so whilst I’m motived and devoted to my studies I felt this purchase was almost a necessity to my future.

So here I am, typing away on my MacBook, I decided against a pro due to the weight as I am evidently the weakest gal going. no but seriously, my friend has the pro and she whines about it being equivalent to a small cat (in weight, not function)

An Update…

Hello. Hello to who may be reading this, which will obviously be just me.

So Hello to me!

 

I’m writing to inform you of an update, a change in events, pathways, life.

I hope my typing has improved since I last typed although I’m making no promises. last year (2017) started at A and ended at 03939 meaning I started the year quite down, down about myself, my life, my future. I felt completely alone no matter what company or compassion nothing made me feel truly whole. However, someone stepped into me. although now we don’t speak and I must admit that is most definitely for the best, he taught me a lot. more about myself than anything else but no matter what I will always have a soft spot for him, a “what if” But I did lean that no matter how many “what if’s life throws at you, you have to stay true to yourself!! and that’s what I did. along the way I did let him back in, however I stood my ground and kept him at arms length and I feel like from that alone my self respect grew immensely.

Another thing that happened in 2017 is friendships. I learnt beggers cannot be choosers. yes I felt completely alone at the beginning of 2017, but part of that was due to myself. I took those in front of me for granted. I don’t want to be honest with myself but I will. I wanted something different I felt like I was waiting for train that I knew wasn’t coming. and for me this was difficult. I knew that nothing good was coming. a levels were draining, my health wasn’t particularly amazing and I felt like I didn’t fit in. but if you’re not fitting in you cant change your shape, you have to surround your self with the good people who accept you no matter what shape and that’s what I’ve finally found and will continue to cherish. Personally, I feel like I now can accept, if I unhappy with my surroundings move else where. even if it means spending a few break times alone, sometimes being alone is nice.

 

Next, this year was full of new experiences and honestly its safe to say I probably will never experience as much as I did in the year of 2017 and one thing I fully have taken on board is to have NO REGRETS! STOP CARING WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU! BE YOURSELF AND BE PROUD OF YOURSLEF!

I’ve applied to university on multiple courses and have received conditional offers from them all. right now I’m content. I’m terrified don’t get me wrong with exams coming quicker than I ever but I’m excited as well as terrified. I’m hoping to get into the University of Liverpool on their Communications and Media course, it’s ABB and in my mocks I got CDE so I’m very much in fear. However, I’ve been doing revision and re doing questions in hope to improve but who knows what’s happening.

This brings me to another lesson I’ve learnt; try your best. As long as you know you’re doing your best and working your hardest, all will be okay.