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A for Amateur

Blog Post 1

People start blogs with intentions and an aim to probably benefit their life in a way nothing else could. I may or may not be just like them in the sense I feel as though a blog may satisfy the subconscious thinking patterns that I cannot control.

I wouldn’t describe myself as impulsive not action wise anyway, however how do I define the fact in which I was scrolling through Tumblr and saw a blog post and though wow I want to start one of those. So now I’m here. Unaware of what this actually does. For all I know I could be signing up for a cult or to a site full of teens ready to attack any suggestive problematic activity or a site where obsessive fan girls explode over something that happened in  fictional land. This can be considered as quite daring (how sad am I) but keeping clear of a cynical mind-set  I’m actually excited to start a blog. who knows what’s going to happen or if I’m even going to keep this up.

 

p.s I don’t actually like berries I have a growing mistrust with them so that photo is very misleading (it’s all good the berries are gone)

I Don’t Want Your Porn

Instagram. Cue the eye roll for the white girl has gone too far yet again but honestly this was utterly devastating for me. I feel as though my hard work and accomplishments had gone to pot. This may come across as shameful and social media obsessed. However, Instagram was where I posted photos I had taken myself all around the world (Europe) I’d started at the age of 13 to now, 16. It had many amazing memories and followed me through high school as a diary so to speak. The fact high school is now over and my Instagram is to I have to restart, however it doesn’t feel right that I don’t have my ‘ratio’ or the little accounts that even though you haven’t ever spoke you feel a great bond just by liking each others posts.

Let me begin with the first blip of my Instagram, I was on holiday and at around 3 in the morning with extremely poor wi-fi puking my guts out when suddenly my phone got attacked with vibrations. It was one of my friends spamming me with messages like ‘CHECK YOUR INSTAGRAM’ and ‘YOUVE BEEN HACKED’ obviously alarmed I quickly loaded the app up and she was right, I had been locked out. Luckily I had linked my Instragram to my Facebook but unfortunately my Facebook password had been changed also. The first thing in my mind was ‘my family are going to get spammed with porn’ as that was what happening on my instagram sharing “my” nudes to 800+ people. Luckily after answering a few security questions I was in and could then access my instagram finally I changed everything back to normal and it was like nothing ever happened.

Until around 2 days ago, I woke up one morning with a ridiculous amount of following requests from people who were so closely familiar their accounts were just not right. As there was so many I was sat in a state of confusion that was till I noticed my name, icon and bio had all been changed but the thing that got to me the most was the fact they’d followed 3k+ accounts. Honestly my heart sank I can’t unfollow that many accounts even if I did they’d keep on following mass number of people.

So now I’ve accepted this for what it is, my feed, I’ve worked on for so long full of my own ‘photography’ and memories are now drifting among the spam riddled accounts. So I start fresh. But to say good-bye (I’m so so sad) to all the memories and great people I found through my account I’m going to talk about my feed and to keep it on here as I did really appreciate it as art even though I’m probably the only one.

Firstly,


These were the last posts on my Instagram. The final year of highschool selfies during the best/worst times of my life. Following through to the not so magical prom night but it’s a night I’ll always remember held together with great days and lovely scenery. Not forgetting my face (apologies there) This earea of my feed is the fullest my feed had ever got with friends and people I had met. In fact I adore how this section really brings out the social side of me as I do cherish my friends very much.

Moving on,

If i was to sum up this time of my life it would definetly be complicated. I really struggled to work out which decision and pathway to take in which was going to befit me most for the long run. However after the flood of “throwback” photos I worked out the best thing to do. When I say “worked out” I actually mean forced my self into an oblivion mindset of canceling out any other options that would leave me in ruins.

Life lesson 1: think about you later because that’ll be the you which deal with the consequences of your actions now

Following through,


I can only describe this section of feed as summer 2015, in fact their was more to this summer but I deleted it due to it just not sitting well with me. It felt too forced to actually mean anything which really sculpts my feelings towards Instagram and how upsetting it is to be parted by a weird bug which follows infinitive porn accounts.This summer held lots of adventure and was the time I attended my first ‘party’ it was super exciting and I’ll never forget the freindships I made during this time. Even though this leads on to christmas I can honestly say I loved this time of my life especially with my trip to Paris. This was infact my second time going to Paris, I love to compare these posts with my posts from the first time I went to Paris just to notice how mature they became it really helped me refelect on who I was becoming. yet again this period of my life had a male weirdly entined in the dates.

Now this was the time where I was very much a hard-core feed goals wannabe,

This was pre-summer with my trip to Llandudno with my friends and my birthday. This time of my life was very very exciting with spontanious outings and late night sleepovers with my friends we felt like we could rule the world one day and achive all of our dreams aslong as we stook together. Unsurpisingly the a boy still found himself stuck in which my layout adjusted which obviously ended in heart-break that led me to the common saying “he’s a dick” to end it all. But that couldn’t distract me from having the best days of my life with the best people in my life.

This time of my Instagram gives me a sense of coldness, maybe it’s because I live in England and when is it not cold? Or maybe its the fact I didn’t really understand the point. Everyday was the same the same routine nothing exciting was happening just going to school coming home to go back to school again.

Life lesson 2: Stop expecting start living
But soon enough things perked up especially seeing Ariana Grande on her Honey Moon Tour which is still to this day such a magical moment for me. Also, I’m pretty sure they are my Primark black jeans that I was ever so proud of purchasing.

No matter what I will always have a soft spot for this section of my feed,

It represents many moments in my life for example; my first trip to Paris, my first time uploading photos that i had taken which didn’t really have a purpose for example the raindrops or the lights both completely pointless but i wanted to show them and from here I never turned back. funnily enough people actually complimented me which left me puzzled but I’m so glad i did it. Now please hold for my Ariana Grande follow – still very very proud ( you may find my twitter ) I’m still deeply inlolve with Ed,Taylor and Ariana but in a way you love your child a bond that will always be there. However, I feel asthough 5 Seconds Of Summer was jsut a phase, neitherless I’d hook up with Calum Hood any day.

Now this is diving into the foetus days,
img_5770I could sit and cringe at these photos of me tring but I wont (like i ever stopped trying). I don’t really know how to describe this section as I feel its very stereotypical for a 13 yearolds Instagram with the boarders and random colours especially the chrome edits and a weird half face selfie where I’m squinting far too much. However, it was the time of quotes and me atempting not to ‘annoy’ anyone. Bless. But without the embarsing moments in our life would we be the people we are today?

So this brings me to my final paragraph (thank god): The conclusion of my Instgram known as @eleanorrpage. However, now I restart my journey on my new Instagram  (@eleanorpagee) not sure how I’m going to get it upto the same standard (what standers omg stop trying) but I’m going to have a go. Wish me Luck.

p.s Yes I understand people are dying in other countries. Yes i understand in some places in the word they’re lucky to receive water but we all come across struggles and this is just a blip in mine I do apologise but heyHo.